You remember that day at school, reader? The one where your Mom made you dress up in that outfit you liked the least, combed your hair into a part, and then grilled you about how important it is to smile big for the camera? And then you had to file into some silly-long line and watch as all your classmates — at least the ones with last names that began with the letter of the alphabet immediately preceding or coinciding with yours — inched closer to the flashing tent at the head of the gymnasium. I bet you spent the whole time grimacing and picking the ass-crotch of your undersized dress pants out of your crack, didn’t you? Well I did. 

Ah, Picture Day. This Picture Day is nothing like that Picture Day. This Picture Day is all about sharing the handful of share-worthy pictures I took over the course of the previous week.

The previous week? Holy Cornholio, reader! I’ve officially been walking for a week now. Only 13 more of them to go. I’ve covered 80 miles (which is a little behind the pace, but still) and taken a fair number of pictures that meet the high standards of this blog. I’m not promising any Ansel Adams grade shit here. In fact, most of these pictures are a little mundane. But I feel they represent a decent cross-section of the sites one might find, should one be loony enough to walk through suburban South Florida. Enjoy.

First up, the Price King:

Now here’s a man positively bananas about auto insurance. I’ve never seen such elation from a dude in a leopard-print jacket — and I’ve walked through Little Havana. Bold sign, Estrella Insurance Guy. Got my attention. And you know what? It earned the CDF a dollar (Jeanette’s pledge was one dollar for every time I texted her a picture of a sign that made her laugh).

Next, we have Carlos and Esmerelda:

Yes, you’re looking at this one right; It’s a picture of a picture. I found this Polaroid shot in the gutter within the first mile of my walk. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen in the gutter, reader. Many of them make me shiver just to think about. But this gutter trash is my favorite.

Cute couple, right? I wonder why they discarded this picture. Was it an accident? Or did they recently break up, and in his/her rage, he/she flung this adorable photo from the window of his/her moving car?

Whatever the story, these two have become the official mascots of the Walk – the little friends who live in my pocket, if you will. I’ve decided to name them Carlos and Esmerelda. I can’t decide why Carlos looks so familiar.  Is he a professional athlete or something? I feel like I’ve seen him play football or baseball, I just can’t seem to place his face with a jersey.

Onward. How’s about some pictures related to actual walking? Sounds good. Here is what a sidewalk sometimes looks like:

And here is what a sidewalk looks like at other times:

I picked these two pictures for good reason: When Google’s walking directions throw you (yet another) curve ball, you have to find sidewalks where there are none; and when you’re walking in sweltering South Florida heat, you do whatever you can to find shade along your route.

The first picture is of a median at a particularly interstate-like juncture of US-1. Google had me walking down this highway, despite the fact that there were no sidewalks and no alternate routes for too many miles in any given direction. So Adama and I walked this (suspiciously well landscaped) median for about 2.5 miles.

The second picture is of a street centered by an elevated train. This train was a godsend, as it allowed Adama and I the opportunity to walk a good three miles under cover of shade during the hottest part of the day.

Next, this is what a break looks like for me:

And this is what it looks like for Adama:

In the first picture, we’re sitting alongside a gas station, trying not to look like vagrants. I’m enjoying a Snicker’s bar, which is something I never ate in real life but now eat like they’re government mandated. We do this sort of thing at least four times a day. Sometimes six.

In Picture #2, yes, that’s the makeshift raincoat I constructed for the faithful companion. His actual raincoat remained hanging on the hook in the apartment I share with Jeanette back in Pittsburgh. Fortunately, I get it back tomorrow (Jeanette express mailed it to her parents, who live down here in Florida, and they’re going to drive it over to me), but to this point, whenever it’s rained, Adama’s been forced to wear this child’s poncho carved down to dog-size with scissors. Needless to say, it’s one of the top three cutest things on the street, depending on the street, and it turns plenty of heads.

How about two more break-shots?

The first is how Adama tends to spend his Zero Days — from the moment we walk in the door to the moment it’s time to check out of the hotel. The second is the kind of place where one takes shelter when it’s raining. It also happens to be the place where I met that kindly Jamaican woman (Pauleth) who introduced me to ox tail dinner and let me sleep in her yard.

When you don’t have yards to sleep in, this is the kind of place you seek out so you can pitch your tent:

This is the spot where Adama and I slept on that night in the abandoned industrial park (I mentioned that in an earlier post, right?). As recently as 1995, Teco Peoples Gas used this space to practice fire and gas emergency drills. More recently, it’s the place where I enjoyed my first outdoor BM.

Alright, reader, I have plenty more pictures, but I’m getting tired (writing this on Tuesday night while I still have a reliable internet connection). Time to wrap this up. I’m gonna finish strong with a nice collection of hilarious signs:

And with that, I say goodnight.