What We've Got

And a bright sun-shiny one to you, reader.  This morning, I got to wake up before dawn to Adama’s characteristic poopy-is-imminent whine.  That’s always fun.  Anyway, I’ve been passing the time by doing what I usually do when I have extra hours to work with: exploring the oracle that is the internet.

Today, much like Adama, the oracle delivered me a stinky little nugget that I’d like to share with you.  It is this.  Now I know I’m treading dangerous waters here, as there are certainly devout Christians among my readers, so I will try to tread lightly.  About God and the Bible, regardless what I do or don’t believe, and regardless what you do or don’t believe, can we at least agree that this story is rather funny?

Here are a few of the reasons why I find it funny:

• The tenor of the Fox News anchor suggests that everyone’s favorite network was attempting to make even a pottery fragment scrawled with vaguely biblical Hebrew sound like a devastating controversy.
• They got a supposed Catholic Priest to talk about the significance of a change-of-origin for the Old Testament. Really? A Catholic Priest? Given the historical nature of the text in question, wouldn’t a Jewish rabbi have been a better choice, Fox News?
• The supposed Catholic Priest looks startlingly similar to this guy, the famed former priest, Rickety Cricket, from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you have a Hulu account or don’t mind taking the time to create one, you can catch him in action here (warning: this link is most assuredly NSFW… it’s also not safe for anyone who doesn’t have a sense of humor about religion or patriotism).  In this clip, Cricket’s the one playing the Taliban character.
• The supposed Catholic Priest tells us that, “Religious belief, faith, makes absolutely no sense if it’s not based on truth.”  I’m sorry man; If what you say is true, then you’re asking us all to embrace the existence of unicorns, satyrs, cockatrices, giants, and talking donkeys (yes, strict believers, all of those things appear in the Old Testament).
• The supposed Catholic Priest follows that up with, “And therefore, historians and archeologists and scientists have so much to do with helping us understand, in this case, religious belief. So, we have to listen to them; we have to take it without any sort of prejudice of saying, ‘I’m afraid of what they’re gonna tell me because I have strong religious belief.’”  Really?  No prejudice?  When did that happen?
• The controversial controversy of a passage tells us to judge widows, orphans, and slaves.  It’s totally refreshing to know that, as the supposed Catholic Priest points out, they had the same values 3,000 years ago that we have today.
• The supposed Catholic Priest had the gall to say that the Church is doing an excellent job saving Haiti.  Last I checked, that just ain’t so.
• The report immediately following this one on Fox News appears to have been about how aid efforts are failing in Haiti.  Nice segue, Fox.
• The report immediately following this one on Comcast.net is about Sandra Bullock and Meryl Streep “locking lips” at the Golden Globes. Nice segue, Comcast.

Look, I don’t want to poke fun at anyone’s faith here, it’s just that it seems to me that the most devout among us tend to eschew science until it does something that “proves” a concept that they’ve embraced since they first attended Sunday school.  I don’t care what you believe, reader, just consider this possibility: if you believe that an archaeological dig has the potential to unearth proof that your religion is sacrosanct, you must also embrace the possibility that archaeological digs that unearth Cro-Magnon man or dinosaur bones are the result of something other than a grand conspiracy (as an aside, how alarming is that website I just linked to?).  I would also like to suggest the possibility that if we can’t even get the dates right on the origin of either of the Christian Testaments, then it is possible that the Earth is older than 6,000 years.

That is all.

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